Hello everyone! My name is Marina, and I’m from Maxilect. In this article, I want to share some approaches to business communication.
This topic is relevant for both office and remote work formats. However, in remote settings, communication effectiveness can often be a more pressing issue — I’ll explain why below.
Why is this important?
Let’s start with why communication skills and soft skills, in a broader sense, are so crucial for us.
First and foremost, because this skill is directly connected to working with other people. Large projects are typically developed by teams. This means that success depends not only on the technical expertise of each team member but also on their ability to collaborate effectively — how they coordinate their actions and plan the next steps in addressing various issues.
Communication skills are about the ability to explain complex ideas in simple terms, voice unpopular decisions, recognize and understand others’ interests, and at the same time, identify communication patterns in society while understanding your own role in them.
Having worked remotely for many years, I’ve noticed that successful interaction in this format requires much more refined communication skills than in a similar office setting. That’s why I’ve prepared a few “recipes” for my colleagues — guidelines on where to focus and what to tackle in order to improve their professional communication skills.
Recipe 1: Be Mindful of the Nonverbal Signals You Send
Let’s start with some theory.
Types of Communication
There are two types of communication:
- Verbal Communication
This involves conveying information through words, whether spoken or written. Examples include team discussions, official or personal emails, one-on-one conversations, team calls, and so on. - Nonverbal Communication
This is when meaning is conveyed without words, often through emotions. For instance, you can tell how someone feels about a conversation just by observing their gestures, facial expressions, or tone of voice. Someone might verbally say, “Everything is fine,” but their body language, facial expressions, or voice tone may suggest otherwise. Key indicators of nonverbal communication include:
- Gestures
- Facial expressions
- Eye contact
- Posture (e.g., upright or slouched)
- Distance between individuals (closer proximity can suggest a more trusting or intimate interaction).
The Importance of Nonverbal Signals
Research shows that we receive only about 30–40% of information through verbal communication. According to Ray Birdwhistell, an American anthropologist and a pioneer in the study of nonverbal communication, words account for just 35%, with the remaining 65% being nonverbal cues.
Ideally, verbal communication should always be supported by nonverbal signals — and this should be done consciously. It’s crucial to stay aware of the nonverbal signals you send.
Examples of Nonverbal Signals in Practice
1. Job Hunting
When looking for a job, we start sending nonverbal signals right from the moment we publish our resume. A potential employer reads these signals, and while they may never explicitly mention them, these signals influence their decisions.
For instance, I visited a career platform, reviewed several resumes, and included real photos from them.
- Who would you hire as a lead developer?
- Who looks like an ideal candidate for an office manager?
And remember, we haven’t even discussed their skills yet.
2. Video Call Behavior
Another exaggerated example: my colleagues and I took a screenshot from a mock video call where we intentionally demonstrated inappropriate behaviors.
- Who in the call appears ready for effective communication?
- Who seems distracted or more focused on entertainment than work?
Key Takeaways
My first recipe: Pay attention to the nonverbal signals you’re sending and actively interpret the signals from others.
Bonus Tip
Avoid overanalyzing nonverbal cues — don’t look for meaning where there is none.
For example, a colleague of mine experienced unnecessary stress because someone in their team ended a message with a period after writing, “Okay, I’ll do it.” She interpreted this as curt or dismissive, as she wasn’t used to seeing punctuation used this way. However, the other person simply had a habit of ending sentences with periods. The misunderstanding was only resolved during a one-on-one conversation.
When in doubt, don’t overthink. Sometimes, it’s more effective to have a video call or meet in person to “tune” your empathy and better understand the other person’s intent.
Recipe 2: Minimize Noise
Who hasn’t experienced technical issues while joining a call — like struggling to adjust audio settings? Sometimes you can’t hear the other person at all, or parts of their speech drop out, making it impossible to understand the main point. This is a clear example of noise in communication.
What Are Communication Noises?
In a broader sense, noise refers to any factor that hinders or distorts the effective transmission of information. Physical noise is the most obvious, but it’s far from the only type.
Here are some examples of communication noise:
Physical Noise
- Poor lighting, which makes it harder to see the other person and interpret nonverbal cues.
- Background noise, like construction sounds or loud conversations.
- Internet issues causing delays, freezes, or dropped words.
Psychological Noise
This is an intriguing phenomenon that affects all of us to some degree. It includes cultural differences, stereotypes, and biases that might shape how we interpret information.
Linguistic Noise
Errors in translation or differences in the interpretation of words.
Physiological Noise
Health issues, such as hearing or vision impairments, that can impact communication.
How to Handle Noise
My next recipe:
Before starting a work conversation, try to reduce potential noise as much as possible. Pay attention to what types of noise are present around you:
- Is a neighbor using a noisy drill?
- Are there connection issues?
- Is your camera poorly set up, making it hard for others to see you?
If the outcome of the communication is important, take the time to minimize these distractions before starting a meeting or call.
Effective communication begins with creating a clear and focused environment.
Recipe 3: Practice Empathy and Active Listening
I’ve mentioned the term “effective communication” several times already. To better understand what it means, let’s first define “ineffective communication” — a process in which the other party receives the wrong message or interprets it incorrectly.
Examples of Ineffective Communication
Here are some common scenarios where communication fails or is easily misunderstood:
- Vague Instructions. Statements like “Do it well!” or “Do it quickly!” are unclear and open to interpretation, which often leads to misunderstandings.
- Interruptions. “Wait, let me jump in…” — a person who constantly interrupts and doesn’t let others finish their thoughts is unlikely to truly hear or understand the message.
- One-Way Lectures. Imagine a professor giving a lecture without any interaction or feedback. While this might work in academia, in a business setting, such communication is ineffective because there’s no way to confirm whether the message was understood.
- Distractions. A conversation partner who’s constantly checking their phone or looking elsewhere isn’t fully engaged, making it harder to have a meaningful exchange.
- Avoiding Certain Topics. In some teams, certain issues are treated as taboo. For instance, there might be an unspoken rule not to discuss negative points during daily stand-ups. However, ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away; it just causes them to pile up like a snowball, eventually leading to a larger conflict.
Building Effective Communication
To avoid such pitfalls, practice empathy and active listening.
- Empathy:
Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Understand their perspective, emotions, and intentions. - Active Listening:
Fully engage in what the other person is saying. Avoid distractions and focus on their words. Confirm your understanding by paraphrasing or asking clarifying questions. - Request Feedback:
Actively seek feedback to ensure that your message was understood as intended.
Why This Matters
Practicing empathy and active listening helps build effective communication, ensuring that messages are accurately conveyed, understood, and acted upon. This fosters trust, clarity, and better collaboration within teams.
Recipe 4: Adopt the Adult Position
One of my favorite topics is the communication games we all play (spoiler: everyone plays them).
Eric Berne’s Ego States
The renowned psychoanalyst Eric Berne identified three ego states that we tend to adopt in various situations:
- Adult. From the Adult position, a person approaches communication as an equal. This is the most rational ego state, where the individual analyzes the situation objectively and offers balanced solutions.
- Parent. When someone communicates from the Parent position, they tend to dominate, lecture, or overprotect. They either adopt a critical stance (“I know better than anyone else”) or a nurturing one (“Let me take care of you”). There’s little room for analysis in this state.
- Child. The Child state is the most emotional, where actions and reactions are primarily driven by feelings. For example, if your boss calls you into their office to discuss a new project and you immediately feel fear or discomfort, you’ve shifted into the Child position.
The Role of Ego States in Everyday Life
All three ego states have their place:
- The Parent is essential for raising children and teaching values.
- The Child drives creativity and artistic expression.
- The Adult ensures rational decision-making.
However, in business communication, the most effective interactions happen between two Adults. This allows problems to be addressed rationally, with participants working together to analyze the situation and reach a solution as equals.
The Challenge of Remaining in the Adult Position
In reality, people often enter business negotiations or discussions from the Parent or Child positions. From the perspective of professional communication, these positions are considered destructive:
Parent → Child
When one person takes on the Parent role (e.g., “Let me handle this” or “I’ll decide for everyone”), the other is likely to slip into the Child role.
Child → Parent
Similarly, if someone begins from the Child position (e.g., “This is too hard; I can’t do it”), the other party often responds by adopting the Parent role.
Everyday Examples of Ego States in Action
Parent Statements:
- “What’s going on here?”
- “Let me just handle it myself.”
Child Statements:
- “This is so difficult; I can’t do it.”
- “I’m tired, and nothing is working.”
The Recipe: Be the Adult
In business communication, strive to maintain the Adult position:
- Monitor your own role in the interaction.
- Pay attention to the roles others try to impose on you.
- If a conversation begins with a destructive position, consciously shift it back to the Adult level. Don’t play along.
For more on this topic, I highly recommend Eric Berne’s books:
- Games People Play
- What Do You Say After You Say Hello?
These books explore communication roles in depth, providing examples of “games” people play and “anti-games” to counter destructive communication patterns. In future articles, I’ll delve deeper into this topic as it applies to business communication.
Recipe 5: Address the Hidden Goal Behind Manipulation
Manipulation is a fascinating and complex topic. A manipulator always acts with hidden methods and motives, typically pursuing two goals:
- The obvious goal, which is what they openly express.
- The hidden goal, which is their true intent — and the one that really matters.
How Manipulators Work
Manipulators often act deliberately, aiming to provoke emotional reactions like pity, resentment, sadness, or anger. However, no matter how skilled they are, the ultimate decision still lies with the person being manipulated.
The Recipe: Focus on the Hidden Goal
When you recognize a manipulation attempt, respond directly to the hidden goal, rather than the surface-level statement.
Example:
A subordinate approaches you and says:
“I feel so terrible today; everything’s falling apart.”
- Obvious goal: To have a conversation or gain your sympathy.
- Hidden goal: Likely, they want to leave work early.
The best response in this case might be:
“Are you asking to leave work early?”
Why This Works
By clarifying the manipulator’s true intent, you avoid getting drawn into communication games. This approach:
- Brings the hidden agenda to light.
- Prevents wasted time and emotional energy.
- Helps you establish more effective and transparent communication.
The result? You reach the goal of the conversation more quickly and avoid the pitfalls of manipulation.
Recipe 6: The Red Flag of Toxicity
The final recipe for today: avoid building communication with toxic individuals.
When you encounter insults, belittlement, or constant manipulation, it’s important to recognize that the person’s goal is not effective communication. Instead, they’re likely seeking emotional release or gratification.
How to Handle Toxic Individuals
If you identify such behavior, the best strategy is to avoid engaging with these people altogether.
The Challenge of Toxic Leadership
A particularly tough scenario arises when the toxic person is in a leadership role. Understandably, leaving your job or changing teams is not always an easy decision. However, if you choose to stay in such a situation, it’s crucial to make that decision consciously.
Keep in mind:
- Working with toxic leaders significantly increases the risk of burnout.
- Constant interaction with someone who behaves like an “energy vampire” can drain your emotional and mental resources.
- Talented and capable team members often don’t stick around in such environments.
If you aim to build a strong team and achieve outstanding results, you must focus on fostering healthy, constructive communication.
In Conclusion
I’d like to end with a quote from Eric Berne:
“The most important aspect of communication is the ability to see the world through someone else’s eyes.”
When we work on developing emotional intelligence and empathy — making an effort to step into another person’s shoes, understand their true motives, and even pause when necessary — we improve our ability to express ourselves. In doing so, we take a step closer to becoming masters of effective communication.
Recommended Reading
“The Human Factor: Successful Projects and Teams” by Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister.